What Makes You Happy?

Last week was spring break.

During spring break I got to do a lot of things I don't normally get to do.  I was able to wear my pajamas as late as I wanted.  I got to drink coffee from my favorite coffee mug (as opposed to the travel mug that always accompanies me to work).  I ran errands mid-morning with my husband and son.

And I watched Oprah.  Almost every day.

My favorite episode (which I'm sure was a re-run) was about happiness.  I was fascinated by what Oprah the experts say make people happier.  Many of them made a lot of sense to me.  For example, spending money on life experiences rather than material items will promote happiness in people and create memories of happy times that will last a lifetime.  I may never have thought about that myself, but that sure makes a lot of sense to me.

Other things mentioned as promoting happiness were sitting in the quiet for 10 minutes every day, watching less TV (ideally, only half an hour to an hour a day), having more sex (the more you have, the happier you'll be they say), earning $75,000 a year (but making more money than that will not make you any happier), living close to where you work (because apparently a long commute every day can make a person very unhappy), and getting to know your neighbors.  Knowing your neighbors not only makes you happier, but it helps you feel safer and, interestingly, if your neighbor is happy, it increases your own happiness by 30%!

So, this has me wondering, can I do anything to make myself happier?  Can I sit in the quiet for 10 minutes every single day?  Should I make a bigger effort to be friendly with the neighbors?  I know I could watch less TV!

With a little effort, could one of these make you a little happier? 

It might be worth a shot.

The Time Away

I went back to work last August. Each day that I have spent at work since then has been at least 9 hours away from baby Jack.

Which is forty-five hours a week.

One hundred eighty hours a month.

At least.

If I think too often about how much of the time I don't get to see my baby, I can get pretty sad. But, luckily, I have a sweet and thoughtful husband who does what he can to help me feel connected during the days I spend away. Nathan tolerates my 2 to 3 quick phone calls a day to "check up" on Jack. He patiently gives me a detailed account of Jack's day when I arrive home. And, best of all, he often sends text photos of the everyday activities he and Jack are doing while I am at work.

Thanks to Nathan, I have a collection of some of the most adorable Jack pictures on my phone. They are definitely some of my favorites! Here are just a few...

8-13-10

8-27-10

9-03-10

9-08-10

9-23-10

9-29-10

10-06-10

10-13-10

10-19-10

10-25-10

10-25-10

11-04-10

11-09-10

11-12-10

These pictures help me feel involved during those times I spend away from Jack.

Hot Chocolate or Tea?

With the baby tucked cozily in his crib, and my husband away at band practice, I prepared myself to score 22 third graders' summaries. Studying my drink options, I found myself wavering between hot chocolate or tea... hot chocolate or tea... tough decision, I realized. But, certainly not the toughest one I made today.

It's amazing to think of the profound impact our decisions might have on the course of our day, the impact they could have on our careers, how they may even change the direction of our lives. Looking back, I think about the decisions that have led me to the place I am in now- where I went to college, why I moved to Colorado (I still can't answer that one directly other than that I had a feeling...), who I married, and what job offers to accept.

What a different life it might have been.

But, thank God I made the decisions I did, because in the other room sleeps a perfect little boy who, just this evening, reached his arms out for me to hold him, spent 10 minutes sucking furiously on a washcloth, repeated over and over with his voice the sounds I made with mine, and scooted himself halfway across the living room on his belly.

I feel good about my decisions. And now, as I think about that pile of summaries and the third graders who wrote them, I can only hope the decisions I make for them are as good as the ones I've made for myself.

I study my drink options... hot chocolate or tea?... and finally decide.

Hot chocolate.

It works better with the marshmallows.

I l-o-v-e, love, checking the mail.

When I think about it, I'm not really sure why. Most of the time, the only thing that greets me when I pull open the lid of the mailbox is bills.

Lots and lots of bills.

But, as I walk down the sidewalk to the front of the house and get ready to peek inside the white box, I can't help but allow that hopeful twinge of anticipation to creep into my consciousness.

I must get just enough reinforcement to keep the hope alive because, somehow, it never disappears. Maybe it's the issues of The Mennonite I look forward to. After all, they do keep me updated on the marital status and family size of college friends. Maybe it's my monthly issue of The Reading Teacher that keeps me current on the latest trends and research in my profession. Or it quite possibly is the occasional hand-written card my dad jots during a lull at work that updates me on the life of the Boise Nolts. And, God knows I'm always pleased to spot a gently-used paperback from paperbackswap! They are beginning to make a beautiful pile in the study.

These are all such a joy to find tucked inside that tiny box.

That's one of my favorite things about this time of year- when the lost art of letter writing returns for a short season. I look inside and see a slopey-curvy handwritten return address in the corner of a cute envelope and when I reach into that mailbox and grasp at the contents, that envelope feels just a bit more friendly than all those bills... an envelope accented with red, green, or gold... an envelope a tad more rigid than most.

And I rip it open to find a wonderful greeting from an old friend or distant relative, photos of adorable kuddies, or beautiful seasonal pictures celebrating the wonder of the holiday.

I love it!

Nathan and I spent two evenings writing and folding, signing and addressing, licking, stuffing, and finally mailing our own Christmas cards today. Hopefully, you'll soon peek into your box and see a friendly envelope from us winking at you! We hope it brings you some happiness during this season.

Delicious

This Thanksgiving, it's not just the food that's been delicious. Even with sadness lingering in the air and disappointment hiding in corners, there are wonderful reminders of God's love during this season of life. The way the mid-morning light shines into the kitchen, the dusting of snow that blankets the unraked leaves on the back patio, the squirrels skittering across the fence top outside the living room window, and the homemade steaming vanilla lattes that Nathan sets in front of me each morning are gentle reminders that God is present in each shining moment of life. And, as long as there are words, and music, and laughter, and memories; as long as there is love, care and family; as long as there is determination... then there is hope.

Hold on to the hope... for it might be more delicious than anything else this holiday season.

(for Lindsay)

Apologies

What is it that makes an apology real? Is it the sincerity? the timing? the effort? Is it the willingness to apologize as many times as it takes to be forgiven? Is it helpful if the person keeps apologizing or is it better if the person apologizes once and then lets it go? Is it more sincere if the apology is in person?

There are many times I have done something for which I was sorry afterwards. I'm not the best apologizer but I like to think that I am getting better at it. Having a husband helps (I get more opportunities to practice than I used to)!

Like everyone else, I have been hurt by friends and family. And I have been apologized to. Most of those times, I have felt like the remorse was sincere and it has been an easy forgiveness. But, once or twice, the apology didn't seem genuine and I watched as the same behavior continued.

Jesus says it can be easy to see the speck in another's eye while ignoring the plank in our own. But would He ever decide that sometimes enough is enough and allow us to just walk away from an apology?

Judy and Dave's Wedding

Today, Nathan and I were at Lazy Land in Palmer Park to celebrate the wedding of Judy and Dave. Judy is the mother of Nathan's long time friend, Jimmie, and she and Dave have been together for more than 10 years. The day was beautiful- the sun bright and hot, the strong breeze fresh and cool. At the request of the bride and groom, Nathan sang four songs for the ceremony, including The Wedding Song by Noel Paul Gallagher (from Peter, Paul, and Mary) which was an important song in our own wedding last October, and was also the song played at my parent's wedding in Texas 35 years ago tomorrow. The wedding was very small and casual; many people (including the bride and groom) changed clothes immediately after the ceremony to lounge in shorts and t-shirts while eating marinated chicken, hamburgers, and hot dogs fresh from the grill. Being invited to an event as small and meaningful as this one reminds me how special it is to be welcomed by people to celebrate during these most significant moments in their lives. We wish Judy and Dave a future full of happiness!

To My Mom on Mother's Day

Dear Mom,

According to Dr. Phil, the single most influential person in a child's life is the parent of the same gender. I have no doubt that, in my life, you have been the most influential person! Over the years, I have come to you for comfort for everything from skinned knees to broken hearts. I have sought you out for advice on everything from what books to read to what health insurance policy is best. From hundreds of miles away, I have felt your support through all the big changes in my life- new roommates, graduate school, new jobs, marriage. No matter what, you were always there to listen!

You have taught me so much! I have learned from you the value of a clean house (even while not always adopting your conviction about cleaning it!). You have shown me the importance of hard work by displaying an unmatchable work ethic. You have instilled in me a habit for eating healthy foods by preparing delicious meals and keeping the "sugar cereals" banned from the house (as best you could with Dad around!). And, to this day, I still remember the humiliation of marching up to Jason's front stoop (with you by my side) where I sheepishly apologized for taking the gum from his house and chewing a piece without permission. Thanks to that experience, I have never again made the mistake of taking what doesn't belong to me. (And, it is only a mother like you who can somehow know that her child took the gum without asking!)

It is because of you that I am a teacher and a reader. I have watched you teach your children and grandchildren with patience and perseverance. I have seen your unending energy and strength as you guide our decisions and shape our lives through your example and your leadership. You taught me how to do the dishes, how to clean a room, how to cook a meal, how to get an 'A', how to do my best, how to be brave, how to live with integrity, how to be an individual, how to accept others, and how to love God. The teacher and reader I have become has shaped my identity as I have sought to find my serving spirit. I experience joy in my profession because you have taught me the value of my contribution.

And, most importantly, you have shown me what it is to love. I am amazed by your generosity, loving spirit, and your sacrifices, Mom. As much as you may not like it, it shines through when you bawl like a baby at weddings and showers, when you share openly through tear-filled eyes with your friends, when you continue to serve your church community by volunteering on committees. So, while I don't always agree with (or even like) Dr. Phil, in this case, he is absolutely right. You have had a profound influence on my life. You have a strength and self-sacrificing love that I envy, and if I can become half the woman you are someday, I will feel that I am a success! Thank you for loving me.

Love,
Marika

My Babiest Sister of All is Getting Married!!!

Exactly two months after Nathan and I got married...

On a Thursday night (after eating at a restaurant called Chuck-O-Rama's with our family)...

Lindsay's boyfriend, Nathan....

proposed to her!

I think my mom said it best when she said, "Just like you and Nathan, Lindsay and Nate are two peas in a pod. They just fit together so nicely."

I wish I could post a bunch of cute pictures that I have of them so you can see how adorable they are, but we are still on vacation and our pictures are at home so I will have to do that when we return.

Our family is so excited!

Congratulations to them!!

The Fruits of the Spirit

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
-Galatians 5:22

Last night I spent some time making Christmas presents. As I was settling in to bed, I was thinking about the people I had made the gifts for and how they each seem to strongly reflect a fruit of the Spirit. I began thinking about many of my friends and how one fruit in particular seems to radiate from their personality. I would like to share the fruits that I think are strongly represented in my friends.

Tammy: Patience
Tammy has waited longer than anybody I have met and, while I'm sure she struggles in her wait, she somehow always stays positive.

Nathan: Kindness
Nathan is the kindest person I have ever met. He does whatever he can to make people feel good about themselves and he never has a mean thing to say about anybody.

Dede: Faithfulness
Dede lives her life by the values she holds. She doesn't make excuses and she is loyal to those she cares for.

Ramona: Joy
No matter what struggles she is faced with, Ramona will always find the joy in a situation. She looks for beauty and sees it everywhere.

Anne: Gentleness
Anne's courteous and kind character gives people a sense of peace and calm when they are with her. Even her voice is serene. And, you can feel the gentleness in her hands when she finishes your haircut with a light back rub!

Shera: Goodness
Shera is a good person! Her character shows her goodness. She is kind to people and is an amazing listener. She is the person I always turn to for moral advice as she seems to have an innate knowledge of what is right and what is wrong. And she knows what to do about it and isn't afraid to do it, even when it's difficult. (Remember CSAP?)

Lindsay: Peace
Lindsay is the peacemaker in our family! She can objectively see everybody's side of a situation and stays friends with us all, even when we disagree. She is happiest when we are happily together as a family.

Dad: Self Control
My dad has more self control than anybody. For years, he has worked nights at a hospital, sleeping during the day when others are awake. He is an avid runner (even at his age!). Despite having lost almost all of his hair, he has never resorted to a combover! And, as if that isn't enough, he was the only man living in a home with five women for years and years!

Lauren: Love
Lauren is such a loving person. She has welcomed me to her family and has never been anything but excited about having me marry her brother. She has always shown unwavering kindness and understanding as I have searched out my place in her family. I have seen her show love and forgiveness to her friends, and she is never afraid to express her love for others!

Thankful.

This Thanksgiving I have so much to be thankful for...

...snow the day before Thanksgiving

...a comfortable house that I love coming home to each night

...a cat who loves me (even if she doesn't care for anybody else!)

...a working car that hasn't recently been stolen

...a job that pays the bills (that's all I can say about that one right now)

...loyal friends who are encouraging and kind

...a niece and nephew who bring me so much joy

...two families who are loving, generous, and supportive

...the good health of my family, friends, and myself


and most of all...
...a wonderful husband who is kind and compassionate and who makes me laugh every day